CM
PUNK
About four or five years ago, someone at
the WWE realized that the people buying the grand majority of their merchandise
were under the age of 18. As a result, they decided to move their programming
more towards something appropriate for that market: blood disappeared from
wrestling matches, the Divas no longer habitually took their clothes off and
swearing and sexual innuendo became less and less prevalent. As you can
imagine, the people who stuck with wrestling after growing up with it during
the 80s and 90s were disappointed by this decision. Gone were all the things
they loved about their eras (characterized by Hulk Hogan first and The Rock
& Stone Cold Steve Austin after him). Wrestling was for kids now, obsessed
with social media and selling merchandise, and the older audience became
cynical and jaded, resorting to the Internet to air their criticisms. The scapegoat
for all this discontent was the ever-successful, square-jawed Make-A-Wish
Ambassador John Cena. Once a rapper who espoused the values of something he
called ‘Thuganomics’, his character's shift from bad boy to the champion of
women and children everywhere was complete when he changed his finisher from the
anti-establishment F-U to the particularly establishmentarian ‘Attitude
Adjustment’. It may not technically have been an act of antidisestablishmentarianism, but at least I was able to write that word just now.
Luckily, the malcontents were given a voice
in human form. CM Punk was a darling of the independent wrestling circuit,
incredibly talented in the ring and compelling on the microphone. Upon arriving
in the WWE, he was perpetually misused by the powers that be and on the verge of leaving -before he delivered an epic promo that turned him into one of the biggest
superstars in the entire WWE. Over the last year, the 'company' would have pretty
much been completely adrift without him. He’s been champion for an entire year,
he’s carried entire episodes of Raw on his own back and he’s provided a reason
to everyone that isn’t under the age of 15 to keep watching wrestling in the
first place. He's bitingly funny, terrifically intense and incredibly charismatic. I believe that wrestling can be as blisteringly entertaining as
any other television show, but over the last year, CM Punk has been the only
person reminding me of that possibility.
Honourable
Mention: Dolph Ziggler might not just have the
stupidest name in wrestling, but possibly in any industry in the world. He is,
however, an outstandingly talented wrestler and can make anybody look good.
There’s an old saying about talented wrestlers that they could have a good match
with a broom. Dolph Ziggler could have a good match with a toothpick.
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