So today it was announced that a Captain Planet movie is in the works - a live-action version of the no less than outstanding 90s edutainment cartoon. Now of course this is in essence ridiculous - BUT. What if rather than teenagers flying around in an utterly un-aerodynamic yellow jet with power rings that bind together to summon the world's greatest 'mullet'-ed superhero - we went with a Batman Begins style gritty reboot with adult stars? Oh, the casting decisions we could make...
THE PLANETEERS
KWAME
CHIWETEL EJIOFOR
Ever seen 2012? He's already played an earnest environmental scientist struggling to defend the planet from ridiculous threats! He'd be so good.WHEELER
SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT
In the gritty Captain Planet reboot, Wheeler would still be a fast talking American - however he would also be able to be a fast talking American who swears a lot. Seann William Scott, anyone?LINKA
MELANIE LAURENT
In my list of sexy, roughly-30 possible action stars, Melanie Laurent might be the one with the best dramatic chops - and she could finally top her performance in Inglorious Bastards.GI 
ZHANG ZIYI
So you're making a Captain Planet live-action movie and you need to cast people capable of doing action. May I suggest an actress who would be as handy with a ring as she is with a sword?GI
JOHNNY DEPP
Look, I get this isn't going to happen. But now I've suggested it, you want it to. Imagine the dark re-imagining Johnny Depp could give this children's classic.CAPTAIN PLANET
When she sweeps her hair back to reveal the horrific scarring, it would only be the second most shocking reveal in Sharon Stone's career.*DUKE NUKEM
DWAYNE JOHNSON
Just stretch out the Michael Chiklis Fantastic Four 'Thing' suit and put The Rock in it! Voila.SLY SLUDGE
JON LOVITZ
